Proverbs 1:33, But all who listen to me will live in peace,
untroubled by fear of harm.
At the crux of my
testimony of the grace of God in my life is a personal deliverance from the
spirit of fear. God’s love has so enveloped
me in my lifetime that for many years I completely forgot about the torment
that haunted me in my preteen years.
Between the ages of nine
and twelve, fear was my constant companion.
I was afraid of the dark, afraid to go to bed at night, afraid to meet
new people, afraid my mother was going to die – these dark forces had “spoken”
to me that she would die at age 32. I’m
telling you people, the spirit of fear is real and has no respect of
persons!
I cried. A lot.
The Lord has graced me with sensitivity to His Presence and I desired as
a young child to serve Him with all my heart.
This tormenting spirit caused me to even fear the Lord and what He would
do to me if I sold out to Him. I was
afraid of seeing demons or angels. The
torment closed in most heavily when I was in church. Seriously?
Yes, demons go to church more than some Christians!
Fear tried to come
between me and my growing relationship with My Lord. The only place I can remember being somewhat
carefree was at school. In retrospect,
that was the one place the things of God were never mentioned! The heaviness of fear would start to close in
on me each day as I left school on my walk home.
At the tender age of ten
I was gloriously baptized in the Holy Spirit and received the gift of unknown
tongues. Glory to God! What I now know is that the Spirit of God had
given me a mighty weapon and a precious gift.
As I grew in praying in the Spirit, I bypassed those tormenting spirits
by praying directly to God, spirit to Spirit.
My spiritual growth took a massive leap that night! No, the torment did not lift immediately and
for a few years manifestations of fear still accompanied my life. I was most fearful of displeasing the Lord or
committing the “unpardonable sin” and being left behind at the rapture. I was obsessed with silly things such as how
I looked at pictures of Jesus (I’m sorry and mean no offense, but I still do
not like pictures of Jesus to this day.
I don’t think anyone can adequately paint His face to reflect His
perfect love!) I was gripped by painful
shyness which tried to manifest every time I was placed in a group setting with
new people. This happened often since my
parents were pastors.
Thank God for godly,
Spirit-filled parents who kept me in church every week, taught me the Word of
God and showed me how to pray! You see,
I do not think deliverance from the spirit of fear is an instantaneous
deliverance. Jesus’ power has broken the
chains, but we have to walk out our
deliverance. Under my parents’ covering
I continued to grow, continued to face situations head on that were frightening
to me. Year after year I took in more of
the Word of God and prayed more in the Spirit.
My heavenly language was developing from stammering lips to
authoritative sentences in unknown tongues.
I honestly wish I could
remember the day, or week, or year that the spirit of fear left me. I only know that my tormenting childhood
companion was kicked out at some point by my new Friend, the Holy Spirit! He activated the Word of God inside me and
God’s love became bigger and stronger in me than fear had ever been! Glory to God!
At age 14 this formerly-backward,
shy child stepped onto the platform of a small church packed with people and
delivered her first sermon. It was
nothing profound and lasted only about five minutes, but fear and timidity got
a big fat kick out the door that night!
Amazingly, I discovered that I was most comfortable there, in front of
people, preaching God’s Word. Over the
years this freedom spread into my personality.
I now actually find myself looking forward to meeting new people! Okay, I still cringe slightly at times, but
God’s love has consumed me and pushes right out there to say, “Hey, I’m
Vannie. What’s your name? It’s such an honor to meet you!” Don’t laugh.
That would have been completely impossible before!
Please do not miss
this. As I began to do what God called me to do, fear slipped further and
further out of my life. It lost its
hold on me.
My heart goes out to
anyone suffering and bound by the tormenting spirit of fear! Today I came across this verse in Proverbs
1:33, “But all who listen to me will live
in peace, untroubled by fear of harm.”
Wisdom is talking in this passage.
Wisdom is calling out, and Jesus IS Wisdom. Child of God, you do not have to live your
life fearing harm. Listen to Wisdom and
live in peace! Stop worrying about your
children. Stop being intimidated by
controlling personalities. Stop living
in torment! With David let’s declare “I
will FEAR NO EVIL!” (Ps. 23:4) Father, deliver every person who reads this
testimony. May my brothers and sisters
live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm. In Jesus’ name I thank You!
And by the way…my mother didn't die at age 32. She will be 80
this December. To this day I have never
seen a demon or angel (although now I’d really welcome seeing an angel if God
should want to reveal one to me). I can
look at those paintings of Jesus. All my
sin has been removed so I waste no time worrying about the unpardonable sin or
being left behind. And I enjoy meeting new
people every week. Can somebody shout, “FREEDOM”?
