Untroubled by Fear

Proverbs 1:33, But all who listen to me will live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm.

At the crux of my testimony of the grace of God in my life is a personal deliverance from the spirit of fear.  God’s love has so enveloped me in my lifetime that for many years I completely forgot about the torment that haunted me in my preteen years.

Between the ages of nine and twelve, fear was my constant companion.  I was afraid of the dark, afraid to go to bed at night, afraid to meet new people, afraid my mother was going to die – these dark forces had “spoken” to me that she would die at age 32.  I’m telling you people, the spirit of fear is real and has no respect of persons! 

I cried.  A lot.  The Lord has graced me with sensitivity to His Presence and I desired as a young child to serve Him with all my heart.  This tormenting spirit caused me to even fear the Lord and what He would do to me if I sold out to Him.  I was afraid of seeing demons or angels.  The torment closed in most heavily when I was in church.  Seriously?  Yes, demons go to church more than some Christians!

Fear tried to come between me and my growing relationship with My Lord.  The only place I can remember being somewhat carefree was at school.  In retrospect, that was the one place the things of God were never mentioned!  The heaviness of fear would start to close in on me each day as I left school on my walk home. 

At the tender age of ten I was gloriously baptized in the Holy Spirit and received the gift of unknown tongues.  Glory to God!  What I now know is that the Spirit of God had given me a mighty weapon and a precious gift.  As I grew in praying in the Spirit, I bypassed those tormenting spirits by praying directly to God, spirit to Spirit.  My spiritual growth took a massive leap that night!  No, the torment did not lift immediately and for a few years manifestations of fear still accompanied my life.  I was most fearful of displeasing the Lord or committing the “unpardonable sin” and being left behind at the rapture.  I was obsessed with silly things such as how I looked at pictures of Jesus (I’m sorry and mean no offense, but I still do not like pictures of Jesus to this day.  I don’t think anyone can adequately paint His face to reflect His perfect love!)  I was gripped by painful shyness which tried to manifest every time I was placed in a group setting with new people.  This happened often since my parents were pastors.

Thank God for godly, Spirit-filled parents who kept me in church every week, taught me the Word of God and showed me how to pray!  You see, I do not think deliverance from the spirit of fear is an instantaneous deliverance.  Jesus’ power has broken the chains, but we have to walk out our deliverance.  Under my parents’ covering I continued to grow, continued to face situations head on that were frightening to me.  Year after year I took in more of the Word of God and prayed more in the Spirit.  My heavenly language was developing from stammering lips to authoritative sentences in unknown tongues.

I honestly wish I could remember the day, or week, or year that the spirit of fear left me.  I only know that my tormenting childhood companion was kicked out at some point by my new Friend, the Holy Spirit!  He activated the Word of God inside me and God’s love became bigger and stronger in me than fear had ever been!  Glory to God!

At age 14 this formerly-backward, shy child stepped onto the platform of a small church packed with people and delivered her first sermon.  It was nothing profound and lasted only about five minutes, but fear and timidity got a big fat kick out the door that night!  Amazingly, I discovered that I was most comfortable there, in front of people, preaching God’s Word.  Over the years this freedom spread into my personality.  I now actually find myself looking forward to meeting new people!  Okay, I still cringe slightly at times, but God’s love has consumed me and pushes right out there to say, “Hey, I’m Vannie.  What’s your name?  It’s such an honor to meet you!”  Don’t laugh.  That would have been completely impossible before!

Please do not miss this.  As I began to do what God called me to do, fear slipped further and further out of my life.  It lost its hold on me. 

My heart goes out to anyone suffering and bound by the tormenting spirit of fear!  Today I came across this verse in Proverbs 1:33, “But all who listen to me will live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm.”  Wisdom is talking in this passage.  Wisdom is calling out, and Jesus IS Wisdom.  Child of God, you do not have to live your life fearing harm.  Listen to Wisdom and live in peace!  Stop worrying about your children.  Stop being intimidated by controlling personalities.  Stop living in torment!  With David let’s declare “I will FEAR NO EVIL!”  (Ps. 23:4)  Father, deliver every person who reads this testimony.  May my brothers and sisters live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm.  In Jesus’ name I thank You!

And by the way…my mother didn't die at age 32.  She will be 80 this December.  To this day I have never seen a demon or angel (although now I’d really welcome seeing an angel if God should want to reveal one to me).  I can look at those paintings of Jesus.  All my sin has been removed so I waste no time worrying about the unpardonable sin or being left behind.  And I enjoy meeting new people every week.  Can somebody shout, “FREEDOM”?

America: Best Days or Worst Days?

Happy 4th of July!

If you are a God-fearing person you probably took time this morning to pray for our Nation.  I know I did.  Celebrating our freedom in 2013 has taken on a completely different meaning now from when I was a child.  Perhaps that is because I am more informed, more aware of what is going on in different arenas of our Nation and its culture; or maybe I am thinking of my grandchildren and praying for the America they are inheriting.

But before we go negative on America and what I perceive to be the dangerous direction we have taken in many areas, could we stop a minute and think...is it as bad as it's being portrayed?  Are we headed for our worst days?  Could we possibly be headed for our best days?

I realize the answer could vary according to our worldview or our personality type.  Are you an optimist or pessimist?  But beyond that, seriously - when I look at the shape of the nations of the earth in biblical times, even in the time of Christ and the apostles - is America in any worse shape than those societies?  At the time of Christ's birth, the king ordered all male babies to be murdered!  I know abortion has surpassed that in numbers of babies killed, but thank God our President has not decreed a search and kill mission against all male babies under age two!

Call me weird, but when I read the great testimonies of God's miraculous power being released throughout scripture, from Abraham to the Apostle Paul, I see cultures that were barbarian, lewd, wretched, and anti-Christ.  But God!  God always raised up a people called by His name! He always used His people to speak to the culture, to go against the stream, to uphold His righteousness!

I am so happy to celebrate freedom today on a whole different level!  Freedom in the Holy Ghost!  Whether my Nation writes laws that uphold my Christ-centered values, or whether they tear down everything I believe in, I AM PART OF THE PEOPLE CALLED BY HIS NAME!  I will continue to pray, to believe for miracles, and to snatch people out of the grip of sin and degradation!  

My effectiveness in the Kingdom of God will not be determined by the sway of the culture around me!  With the love and power of God, I plan to sway my culture.  Jesus didn't wait on the "Supreme Court" to pass laws in His favor before He began His ministry.  Our Savior didn't lead a special interest group to dethrone Pilate.  But He did change the course of humanity.  Forever.

He did it right in the middle of a perverse generation.

I say our best days are ahead!  America, America, God shed His grace on thee!

Songs of Praise...Songs of Pain

I once heard a minister comment on the life of King David by saying, “If David lived in our day he would be labeled bi-polar.”  While evoking a bit of laughter, the statement caused me to reflect deeper into the words of the Psalms.  I was taught to go to the Psalms for words of praise, affirmation, and adoration to God.  Indeed, many words and phrases common to our praise language today are taken directly from the Psalms.

In addition to providing us with a dictionary of praise terminology, the Psalms also provide extreme comfort and solace.  The sheer phrasing of Psalm 23 or Psalm 91 brings calm and assurance in the middle of stormy seasons in our lives. 

However, of late I have taken note of the not-so-often-quoted verses in these Songs; verses that reflect the writer’s pain and agony; verses that cry out to God for justice, vengeance, and vindication.  Those overlooked stanzas that flat out question, “God what are You doing?” 

Psalm 80:4, “O Lord God of Heaven’s Armies, how long will you be angry with our prayers?  You have fed us with sorrow and made us drink tears by the bucketful.” 

Same song, verse 12, “But now, why have you broken down our walls so that all who pass by may steal our fruit?”

Questions such as “How long?” and “Why, God?” are included in the Scriptures.  Oddly enough, this brings me great hope at this moment in my life, because we in the Church are subtly encouraged to suppress our questions and fears.  Either we fear God will strike us if we question Him, or we fear people will think less of us if they discover we don’t know all the answers! 

I find it uniquely refreshing that the Bible, God’s Word, the Psalms, include many verses that reflect the pain, agony, distress, turmoil, and sometimes downright doubts of the writer.  Shall we remind ourselves that we believe every word of Scripture is inspired by the Holy Spirit?  So, I've decided to slow down a little as I read through the Psalms.  Until now, I have been prone to speed read over the verses that reflect pain or conflict and dwell on the verses that offer praise, promise, and protection.  Why are these verses even in the Scriptures? 

I’m beginning to get a clue as to why.  These composers were not bi-polar.  They simply wrote songs about life.  And God was central to every part of their lives; the prosperous times and the lean times; the robust years and the painful years.  The writers cried out to God through it all.  Could it be that the Psalms were written not only to provide a vocabulary for praise and worship, but also a language to use in our deepest struggle, heartache, and distress?

Not convinced?  Among the last words spoken by our Lord and Savior on the cross were the prophetic words penned by David in Psalm 22, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?  Why are you so far away when I groan for help?”  When the Son of God chose words to express what He was going through as He took on the sin of the world, He quoted – not the comforting 23^rd Psalm – but the first sentence of Psalm 22.

I am sure volumes have been written about the Messianic prophecy of Psalm 22, but for David at the time he sang this song, it was simply the passion of his heart being poured out to his God.  If you follow these songs long enough you will see that they usually end in pure praise or even prophecy of coming blessings.  Psalm 22 ends with these declarations:  verse 27, “The whole earth will acknowledge the Lord and return to him.  All the families of the nations will bow down before him.”  verse 30, “Our children will also serve him.  Future generations will hear about the wonders of the Lord.” 

I find that progression simply amazing.  If we will be real with God, He will lead us from fear, questions, and agony into pure praise, promise, and prophecy!  Selah.

Please be encouraged, dear friend.  Join me in looking a little closer at all the 150 Songs.  Let’s continue to shout unto God, praise, laud, exalt, and adore Him with the words of the Psalms.  In addition, let the honest - even brutal - phrases of pain and agony assist us in crying out in complete honesty and openness to God, our loving heavenly Father.

My God, my God, why…? 

GREATER Patience

"Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord's coming.  See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains."  James 4:7


I tithed for the first time this past Sunday.  Now, where are those open heavens?  Where are those blessings?

I went to the altar last month and forgave my ex-husband for leaving me and the kids.  I felt like a ton had been lifted from my shoulders.  I did what God's Word told me to do, so why is my ex still spreading lies about me?  And where are those godly men who should be pursuing me now?

I volunteered to clean the church last week.  So where are the people to help me with this bathroom remodel at my house?  I sowed my time to the church.  Where are my harvest of helpers when I'm in need?

My church kept promoting the weekend Encounter Retreats.  People testified that their entire lives had been changed after spending a weekend with God on the mountain.  A few months ago I took The Journey myself.  It was indeed glorious!  But now that I'm back in the routine of life, my kids are still out of control; my finances are spiraling; and those old thought patterns are creeping back!


The above statements are fictitious but could easily be actual quotes from some of our thoughts!  

I could be blunt and brutal in response.  I could ask the rhetorical question, "Aren't you glad Jesus didn't get impatient while He was dying on the cross for your sins?  Everything wasn't exactly easy for Him that day! "  Instead of waxing cynical in my response, I'll just let the Word speak for itself.

I believe we forget the laws and processes God put into motion when He made the heavens and the earth.  James reminds us that the farmer knows these laws and waits for them to work.  I love gardening and landscaping work, but learning effective gardening requires lessons in patience!  Perennials will look better in two to three years.  Some shrubs are fast-growing; others can take ten years to mature.  Gardening has been a great teaching experience for me because it has taught me to till the soil, fertilize, plant, water....and WAIT.  God's laws of "sowing and reaping" will do the rest! 

After the Great Flood, God told Noah that as long as the earth remains Seed-time and Harvest will never cease. (Genesis 8:22)  That excites me!  Anything we plant in life will produce a harvest...in time.  Our frustrations come when we forget the "time" part of the process.  Patience is not that difficult to learn once we understand God's laws.  If I keep sowing forgiveness, in time I will reap love, acceptance, and forgiveness - abundantly.  If I keep sowing my finances, in time I will reap abundant prosperity, wisdom, and understanding in financial matters.  If I keep planting  my time in God's presence, in time I will become a spiritual giant, able to lead others to healing and wholeness in Christ!

Just knowing that it shall be....helps me develop Greater Patience!  

"...People will reap what they sow...Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."  Galatians 6:7-9

Will you commit to do two things with me as we grow into Greater Patience?  First, keep doing what is right.  Keep sowing.  Your proper time is coming.  Secondly, stop complaining.  A wise person once said, "Complain and remain.  Praise and be raised!"  Come on child of God!  Get up right now and praise God for your harvest!